+ymec@n0n1y+el1

So I haven’t been online in quite some time… well, atleast not on tumblr… I’ve been living life with out my computer… due to a malfunction in the hard drive… =/ had to get it fixed, and it took 2 days!! I think I was going loopy!! Because I had absolutely nothing to do… I tried everything I could think of to find something to pass the time… I cleaned, wrote notes to a friend in prison, talked on the phone ( which by the way is awekward, concidering I haven’t talked on the phone much ) I did everything and everything… and when I had absolutely nothing to do… I think I annoyed my boyfriend… haha A LOT!!! But he understood why I was being so… touchy… annoying… lol… In the past couple weeks, me and my boyfriend haven’t been seeing eye to eye on a lot of things… there’s sooo much drama… sooo much time spent together… soooo much relationship stress… toooooo many people in one small apartment… we really don’t know what to do with ourselves… I’m overly stressed by all the drama that goes on in this one small apartment… It’s straining my relationship… people convincing… manipulating… influenching… I HATE IT!!! I just wish everyone would get along!! Stay in their own business!! KEEP OUT OF MINE!!! One of the biggest problems I have in my relationship is other people influencing my boyfriend… he’s easily influenced… doesn’t know how to say no… he tends to let other people walk all over him… use and abuse him… it causes more problems in our relationship… and it is really beginning to get old… I really wish I could just get him and I out of this apartment and on our own… but that’s a hard thing to do when neither of us have a job… i’ve been constantly looking for a job for months… and my boyfriend had a job… it wasn’t the best… it was a factory job… hard manual work… but it paid minimum wage… it sucked… he absolutely hated it!!! So he did the immature thing of course and quit… he says it’s ok cause he has unemployment… but the economy right now sucks!! there really isn’t anything out there for a good job… and his unemployment is abouts to kick the bucket… I’m soooo stressed over sooo many different things… I’m confused about where I’m heading in life… about where I want to be in life… about what I’m going to do… I wish I could talk to my grandma just one last time… she would give me the best advice in the world… and i would follow it… I respected her that’s why… I’m pretty sure that a few of my friends are almost sick of me calling and crying to them about my problems… when they have problems to deal with themselves… I just don’t know where to turn to anymore… I want my life to do a complete 360… I want to be closer to home… but I want to spend the rest of my life with my boyfriend… but is the fealings mutual? I’m not quite sure yet… he tells me sooo many different things… he’s got my head and my heart twisted and bunched together… I don’t think I know which way is up anymore… but soon… very soon I hope… things will change for the better… if and when my plans strike… and I hope they work out for the better… cause I don’t know how much more I can take… Is this all worth it? If I could go back in time right now and change everything… would I be here right now? I’m not so sure… I know if I knew what I know now… I would change a lot!! But I have no regrets in life… I lived and I learned… So, to my readers, I pretty much gave you the story for the most part… What would you do in my position?